My Motives Are Not Your Motives

You have been tortured and crucified for literally going out of your way to improve family relations.

You drove 300 miles, despite not wanting to, just to ensure that your niece had a good relationship with her uncle, as your mother had told you that you need to see her often from an early age to build a bond with her.

And your brother, under his partner's thumb, chose to deliberately leave the flat when he knew you were arriving, and refused to come back to the flat, telling you to go and meet him instead.

Because they thought that going out when you've driven 300 miles to see them was reasonable equivalence to receiving what they thought might have been a sarcastic email from you.

Not only that, but they then denied refusing to come back to the flat, and lied to everyone in the family that they were on their way back to the flat, and therefore had done nothing wrong.

For a narcissistic sociopath, it means very little, because they feel very little.

The more you show your pain, the more they isolate you and cause you more pain, because they simply cannot comprehend why you're so hurt, as they don't have that level of emotion that you do.

Look for the carers - the healthcare workers, the healers. They are your kind.

Avoid the psychopaths - the lawyers, the CEOs. There's a reason why they are famously so universally hated.

Look for people who say sorry whenever they hurt someone else's feelings, because they care about others' feelings, rather than those who think saying sorry is a legal admission of guilt so will never say it.

"Be kind" only means something to those who aren't psychopaths.

Those who are neurodivergent like you, and therefore have emotional regulation and rejection sensitivity issues, are seen as vulnerable and easy targets for psychopaths.

And psychopaths think nothing of using Machiavellian psychological manipulation techniques to turn everyone against you.

Your autistic honesty and therefore typically autistic 'foot-in-mouth disease' are telltale signs that you're vulnerable and therefore for psychopaths to bully you.

They can manipulate people into thinking you're lying when all you do is tell the truth.

You could be raped and murdered and they would tell you you're always playing the victim.

They would blame you and hate you and shun you for shouting and screaming at the murderer as you die.

They don't like intelligent people who stand up for themselves when attacked.

They don't like autistic people who have mild, non-violent, but verbally shocking meltdowns that are unfortunately an unavoidable and nightmarish part of life for a person born autistic.

These horrible meltdowns cause far more pain to you than your mere rude and hurtful words hurt other people.

You can't help it that you were born disabled, but you can surround yourself with people who are caring, instead of your unfortunately uncaring, anti-neurodivergent, prejudiced, discriminatory old family.

And at last, that is what you are now doing.

You tried your best to stop your mother and offspring being manipulated by a psychopath, rather than listening to your truth.

They have probably been told complete and utter lies and smears about you, and they've taken those lies and prejudices as truth.

You can no longer save them from being hurt by the narcissistic sociopath, or stop them sadly becoming the same, but you can save yourself.

Your new family are helping you to do just that.

And for that I am grateful.